Pity the Great Silver General
by Harusaki
Summary: Sephiroth has been reincarnated...with some slight changes. ;
1. Chapter 1

Reincarnation had a sense of humor---or at least Aerith did--- Sephiroth had decided. In fact, she was just downright cruel. Even he would never have wished this on anyone... except Hojo. Fine! So maybe in his past life he had been a momma's boy and a homocidal maniac with a wing and a great big sword. So what if he had killed countless people, that was NOTHING compared to this! The sheer indignity of this punishment was just too much!

Sephiroth hid behind a large bush and tried to calm his breathing. He had been running almost non-stop and was utterly winded. He thought wryly that this was probably the best work-out he had ever had even since his previous life as the Silver General of Shinra.

His nostrils flared slighty, catching the musky odor of his pursuers, and he felt himself shrink, unconsiously pinning his large ears back along a slender silvery neck. His knees were trembling, his tail twitching nervously.

Suddenly the three stags came bounding into view over a hill, snorting and shaking their antlers with the customary confidence and excitment that falls upon all creatures during the fall months. The silver doe knew he didn't have a chance as the three made straight for his hiding place, honing in on his location better than any missile.

" Sepheeeeee!!!!" Zack, the smaller black one sang, the odd spiky fur on his head bouncing in the breeze.

" I'm a wonderful poet.' chimed the red one, ' why don't you let me sing you a few verses?"

The larger black one said nothing, but raked the surrounding foliage with his antlers, drawing attention to their impressive tines. Angeal had never been one for too many words.

Sephiroth shot out of the bushes with a frightened mewl, " STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

The three stags raced after him, taking the creek in a single bound as they followed their quarry, calling out for him in pleading voices. They just wanted to 'talk' after all.

Sephiroth ran as though his life depended on it, or rather, his virginity. This was his first time in Heat and he wasn't liking the results. The three fun loving fawns he had grown up with had suddenly turned 'predator' on him, as had every other male in the forest! He vaugly remembered something like this happening to the small blonde doe, Cloud, but he hadn't paid much attention at the time. His breath was coming in panting, rasping breaths and he knew that it was only a matter of time before he wouldn't be able to run anylonger. Apparently his former playmates had sensed that too because they had picked up their pace and were closing in rapidly.

Curse Aerith! What had he ever done to deserve this!


	2. Chapter 2

Feeding contentedly in a small clearing, Cloud, his speckled little fawn at his side, was blissfully unaware of the epic chase taking place just over the hill. That is until he was knocked head-over-hooves by a flying streak of scared spit-less Sephiroth, traveling like a wayward train through Terra and Fona alike.

Just behind him, three streaks of panting desire followed at a dead run.

Somewhat in a daze, Cloud watched the chaos vanish into the dark depths of the forest, heading for the great falls and the Chocobo farms beyond.

"Whats gotten into Sephiroth, momma?" The little fawn whispered, large liquid brown eyes staring with confusion in the direction that the Flying Foursome had gone.

Cloud lifted a dainty muzzle and sniffed the air, catching the faintest traces of a scent he recognized very well indeed. " Erm...uh...nothing, Marlene. Nothing at all."

"HA! You mean nothing YET! Like maybe a little, Zack, Gen, or Angeal! O don't worry, one of them will be getting INTO him soon enough, yo! Fuck yeah! I wish I was getting a piece of THAT Silver tail too!"

Cloud whirred with a gasp of horror, swiftly sitting down on his haunches and clapping his fore hooves over his little fawn's ears, shooting a glare of consternation at the scruffy three year old fawn who had come up behind them. " RENO! Where ever did you learn such filthy language!!!!"

The red-head three year old tossed his head impishly, proudly showing off a pair of forked tines with that classic attitude that teens of all ages display so well. " Aww, Cloud, you were always such a damn prude anyway. Little Marlene's gotta learn bout the 'birds and the bees' someday." Sitting perfectly still and unmoving on Reno's back, a decidedly large and fat bullfrog puffed out its throat and ribbited " Damn Right." Adjusting a tiny pair of dark shades with a froggy hand.

Cloud wrinkled his nose and curled a lip ferociously. " And one day she will, but certianly not now and certainly NOT from YOU! Now beat it! And take that bullfrog with you!"

Reno smirked, twisted a slender neck around to nuzzle at the bullfrog sitting between his shoulder blades. " Fine, Rude and I'll go else where. Catch ya later, prude."

With a kick of his heels and a bound, Reno took off in the direction of the Silver doe and his amorous followers.

Cloud felt his ears burn as he caught the strains of the song Reno was singing, his bullfrog companion ribbiting the chorus. " The internet is for porn! The internet is for lovely, wonderful porn!"

"(Chorus) Porn, porn,porn!!!"

At the far end of the forest, the mighty general Sephiroth finally could run no longer. Staggering on wobbly legs he finally lost his footing and collapsed. He had run over/ through the river and crashed through the woods, even passing a quaint little grannie's house, and now he was wet, bedraggled, and utterly exhausted.

He had developed a tic in his left eye, which was at present, twitching erraticly. Even now, he could hear his pursuers. DAMN THEM, PERSISTENT BUGGERS! DAMN HORMONES! Like the sound of death's bell, he could hear the strains of that cursed poem, Loveless. At least the others had the decency to shut up.

After a few short minutes, the three stags stepped out of the woods and halted before him, gazing at the quaking bundle of silver fur. Green eyes nearly bugging out of his head from stress, Sephiroth knew his doom was finally sealed when all three smiled wickedly and said as one " Found ya!"

" OH GODDESS, NO!!!!!!!!!!"

Early spring had come at last, and General Sephiroth was exhausted. He had just given birth to three adorable little fawns, all of whom were peering around with large, innocent eyes.

A gentle wind was blowing, carrying on it the sweet scent of dandelions and lush grass, gently ruffling the speckled silver fur of his three newborns. Still all legs, they weren't quite ready to stand yet. As he bent a weary head to nuzzle each one in turn, they turned their heads, eerie green eyes so like his own fixating on him, and chimed. " Mother?"

" Help." Sephiroth whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

"YEEEOWWWCH!!" the surrounding hills echoed as the silver doe's howl of pain cracked the blissful spring atmosphere like a hammer to glass. Angrily, the former Silver General fought to keep from spewing forth enough foul vocabulary to fill a dictionary, conscious of his three "innocent" young fawns busily nursing beneath him. Raising a hind leg and bopping each one in turn on their hard little skulls with a hoof he hissed. " Watch it! Go easy, I'm not made of stone! You can't just go head butting me every-time it isn't coming fast enough!"

Kadaj broke the suction just long enough to peer at his mother with a milky grin, the creamy foam at the corners of his lips giving him a rabid expression. " Sorry...'mom'" then stuck his head back down again and joined his brothers in their assault on Sephiroth's poor udder, fluffy silver tail wriggling madly with pleasure.

Gritting his teeth, Sephiroth cursed the day, AGAIN, when his little 'angels' had recovered the memories of their past lives. Ever since, Kadaj had been putting extra emphasis on the dreaded, 'M' word, seeming to enjoy watching his former idol and Jenova's favorite son, squirm like a worm on a hook. It made the awkward parts of mothering pure hell for Sephiroth, and more than a little disturbing.

All in all though, he and the three former Remnants had adapted well, especially Yazoo and Los.

Both of the two remnants had never really enjoyed their past lives---that had been Kadaj's forte--- and were now enjoying their new existence immeasurably. Why wouldn't they? They had free food whenever they wanted it, total freedom to play and romp as they willed and had Sephiroth's warm furry belly to curl up against when the nights were cold. For the first time ever, they were able to BE children. Growing up in Hojo's lab had sadly denied them that the first time around. Now, it was as though Areith had taken pity on them, giving them a second chance and allowing them all the comforts that they had been denied. Sephiroth, on the other hand, was given the job of babysitter.

He had carried the trio in his womb for nearly seven months and then had finally given birth to them on his own in a meadowed field. After that, he had licked them clean ( blaaaa, he still shuddered at that one.) and had nursed them for the first time. Very weird. He'd been hacking up hair-balls for a week after that. Since that day, and everyday after, he had been at their beck and call for the most part, and WHAT did he get in return? Hair-balls and a sore udder.

Sephiroth shot another glance at the three busily wiggling backsides sticking out from beneath his belly. He winced as Kadaj began to get a bit over zealous again, obnoxiously butting his head against the delicate little pink udder above him, encouraging the milk flow. This, in and of itself, would have been tolerable if it was just one, however, there were THREE of them. As in their past lives, Loz and Yazoo, still too timid to think much for themselves, simply did whatever their brother did. When he did it, so did they. The result was that the first time it happened Sephiroth was pitched flat on his face in the pansies with shock and pain, his hips popped right up off the ground and his howl could have leveled mountains.

Since then, 'the boys' had learned that their mother was not a carnival 'hit the groundhog with a mallet' game. You DID NOT thump him to get a prize.

Sephiroth had established the rules to the whole breakfast, lunch and dinner routine with an iron hoof. You thump mom, he thumps you back. Period.

A high, chattering voice from above his head snagged Sephiroth's attention. " Oooooo BABY! Moma's looking good to-DAY! How ya doin sexy thing?"

Seething inwardly he glared upwards at the the bushy tailed pervert who had terrorized his life since the triplets had been born. Draped across a high branch ( he'd long since learned not to use the low ones. Deer are incredible jumpers.) Axel the squirrel purred down at the bristling silver doe and his three babies. Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj, for their part, never even bothered to look up. The daily occurrence had long since lost its amusing qualities for them, and the chattering rodent's voice was now akin to the buzzing of flies in their ears. Blissfully ignored.

" Go away Axel, or I swear I'll stuff you back up whatever hole you came out of and make sure you never come back out." Flattening his ears and raising his hackles, the silver doe almost managed to look fierce...until Kadaj stopped nursing long enough to rattle the surrounding trees with a particularly juicy belch. His other two siblings followed suit immediately.

Axel raised one eyebrow slightly. " Eat much do they?"

"Shut up."

" Don't get so worked up or your milk will curdle."

Axel giggled quietly to himself for a moment, then dug his claws deep into the wood of the branch and flipped down to hang beneath it from his back feet, just out of reach should Sephiroth decide to make a wild jump for him. Chattering in what he imagined to be a sexy voice, he said, " You know, I admire a woman with FIRE! You make my spine tingle with just a glance from those foxy eyes! What do you say we do lunch some time, hmmm? I've got nuts... BIG ones." he threw his paws out wide and winked furiously with one eye, as if by some miracle the silvery object of his desire had managed to miss his meaning.

" Good bye Axel." Feeling that his milk had been sucked nearly dry at last, Sephiroth didn't hesitate to boot the Remnants off, quickly turning and trotting away towards the middle of the field, ignoring the rapid squirrel voice that called after him.

" WHAT! Again! That is COLD babe! Just plain cold! Whats a guy got to do to impress you anyway!"

Racing up the tree as fast as his little legs could carry him, Axel dove into the large hole in the trunk, emerging seconds later with a large blue bar of sea salt ice cream on a stick. Sephiroth could never figure out where he got those things. Brandishing the ice cream, the red squirrel bounced up and down on a branch wildly, calling after his vanishing silver vision. " Wait baby! Look at all the food I've got stored away! I could take good care of you! Honest! You would never go hungry ever, I swear on my Chakrams!" As if one cue, two tiny red and silver spiked wheels appeared, spinning in the air beside him, each about he size of a Oreo cookie. " I'll prove it to you! I'm worthy! I'll prove it!"

Popping his head out of the nest, a small blonde squirrel angrily scrambled down the tree and snatched the ice cream from Axel, thumping him over the head with it, and then darting back up into the tree to return it to its rightful place along with the hundreds of others that he and his room mate, Axel had been storing for months. After ages of the heat of the sun melting them into soup, he had finally installed a large freezer in the bottom of the tree, powered by dozens of tiny solar panels that the two of them had painstakingly attached into the tree's uppermost branches. He was not about to let all his hard efforts be squandered by his friend's love affairs. They still had a few more months to prepare for winter, and he was determined to make every ice cream bar count.

Axel, desperate, continued to jump and howl promises upon the large silver doe, who by now was a mere speck on the horizon, her three fawns bounding happily after her.

* * *

As the high voice finally vanished to nothing more than the hum of an inquisitive insect,Sephiroth collapsed gratefully among a bed of clover in the middle of the meadow, glad to finally have a chance to get off his feet. He knew with total confidence that the amorous squirrel wouldn't dare follow him here. Oh, the creature had...once, until Sephiroth had summoned his massive blade, Masamune, and chased him back to his tree.

The meadow and the tree still had not recovered from his attack. The meadow had gigantic cleave marks in it, and in one place a whole knew pond had formed when the blade when deep enough into the ground to strike water. The tree was missing a few limbs and had a gigantic S carved into its base, but all in all it had managed to survive. Axel, obviously, was still alive. Had Sephiroth been able to hold the weapon in his hands rather than in his mouth, chances were good that the little womanizing fur ball would have been dead long ago. However, as it was, using his mouth to hoist the incredible blade had proven more than a little difficult.

Lifting his head from the flowers, Sephiroth cast a quick glance at his three children as they frolicked about a little ways off. Loz had something large in his mouth and was busily crunching on it happily. Probably an acorn, or a bit of wood. Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and looked again, then his eyes popped open wide and as the object appeared to dart out of Loz's mouth and vanish into the grass. With an open mouth the big fawn went after it. Oh. It was a bug. A rather large bug.

Loz lunged suddenly and there was a horrendous CRUNCH and when his head came up his mouth was covered in green goo. A few stick like black legs twitched between his teeth in their death throes.

Turning a shade of green fit to match his eyes, Sephiroth looked away. He would find place a little more private and then vomit.

Before he could do so, however, a large red yearling rose up from where he had been laying in the tall grass a little ways off, startling him. Sephiroth blinked. " What are you doing here?"

The runny nose and swollen face, all puffy from crying, didn't spark one iota of sympathy in the silver doe, however, it did at least raise his curiosity. " What happened to you?" he said.

The scruffy red yearling sniveled a bit and then said. " R-Ru-Rude left me!" and promptly burst into tears afresh.

Sephiroth didn't bother trying to hide his pleasure. Call it a small taste of vengeance for all the strife Reno had put him through since the triplets were born. Having comments like, " Got milk?" directed at him regularly had done little to nurture any love in his heart for the shaggy red-head. Without his amphibian sidekick, Reno was a poor one-man show, his creative abilities halved.

Rude leaving him was odd, but Sephiroth found this sudden turn of events absolutely delightful!

"So where is he now?" The Silver General inquired sweetly.

" At the p-pond. He said he had a L-LADY to meet." More sobs.

* * *

A young woman was seated on a stump near the large, scum coated pond, her billowing purple dress hiked up and tucked firmly beneath her to ensure it didn't fall and get soiled on the muddy banks. Her rich black hair was piled up loosely on top of her head, large green eyes blinking suspiciously at the damp bullfrog settled on her open palm. " Are you sure? Just one kiss?" She asked, still doubtful.

Removing his shades, the frog regarded her seriously with one narrowed, googly eye. " Of course, my lady. I swear on my shades, Turk's honor." Then he puckered up his froggy lips expectantly and waited for a smooch.


End file.
